the dick bandits

So I’ve been working at the Adult Newstand out here for the last month and I had something totally freaky happen while I was out to lunch yesterday. These two guys came in and tried to shoplift a box of 50 clear plastic dildos. How hilarious! I didn’t get to see them, and I don’t think they were doing it as a joke. Maybe they wanted to resell them? Anyway, they didn’t make it out past the first door. You know how some fancy formula 1 department stores have an audible alarm that says, “You set off our alarm. Please come back,” but you can basically keep going and pretend it wasn’t you setting it off? Welllllll, if you set off our alarm then the second door automatically locks. Freedom denied! My step-dad asked the bigger guy who was trying to conceal the box to come back inside and used the butt end of his shotgun to do the convincing. The police were there in three minutes and these guys got carted off to jail for dick stealing. How embarassing will that trial be? I think the hidden camera surveillance evidence will speak for itself. Not like the evidence that
the Kentucky Derby winner had to put up with as far as holding something in his hand. What a joke! It was all the talk of town here over the last week. I saw the same pictures and I didn’t see anything in his hand. My dad said maybe he was holding a clear plastic dildo in there. Right. I seriously doubt it.
Okay, so your reward for reading my blog is a Mardi Gras Sluts 2003 free boob suck sampler video. We have almost an hour of video of young girls flashing their breasts for my camera. Check my shit out!