She wants to fist fuck! Up to the wrist! Okay, well, no she doesn’t. That’s from some song a band called RockBitch put out a few years ago. I accidentally downloaded it off Napster back in the day. I think I was looking for something like the latest Creed album and some freak had sneaked this song into the set that I was downloading. I was amused. At first I thought it very odd that Creed would do a very heavy metal sounding song. When the lead singer chick broke into the first few lyrics from Fist Fuck (the name of the song). I knew I wasn’t in Kansas anymore. So, hmmm. Christmas over. One of the Christmas journeys I’ll tell you about happened when I was at the mall. Provided this wasn’t really some kind of fucked up acid flashback from 2001, here’s the story. I was out looking for some gloves for my family in Kentucky when some red headed skinny bitch grabs a pair off the table I am looking at and starts running like hell out the door and into the mall. Of course, alarms went off, people looked on in shock. I was thinking, why didn’t she just walk out like normal people do and ignore the alarm? Duh. So, being the curious person that I am, I waited a few minutes and then casually walked out in the direction she came from. Some lady asked me if I was with her and I said ”No, I was standing at the table she robbed but I don’t know her.” She huffed and walked off. I could see just up ahead that the old fat mall security boys had done their job and pounced on the redhead. She was SCREAMING her head off about Leather Kills! Leather Kills! I think she was trying to make some kind of animal cruelty protest thing with her stealing of the glove, but like I said, it didn’t make a whole lot of sense. I’m about 99% sure this really happened. I am never doing acid again!